Punishment

[Blackfeathr]

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel

Chest heaving, the thin black form slammed to the ground and remained there, huddled and shaking. His vision swam of the death-choked forest, dreams and hallucinations. Why... am I here... what... happened... who... NightBlood...

I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

In a painful realization he shut is eyes tight, heaving in sobs. This was what brought him here, to the very edge of his sanity. What had he done to deserve this, in a pack that knew nothing about him? What hadn't he done, though, except to exist as the spawn of Satan incarnated... for that was a crime punishable by death.

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting

He felt like he was dying, alone... alone. He was used to that word, in some past life. But now, he had found someone... if only for an instant. And then Sofika's words of torment... echoed like cruel laughter in his mind, bringing the tired body standing up again, snarling at the silence of the forest.

Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

The memories continued to assault him, and he staggered sideways into a tree. Sliding down back to the ground he curled up like an abandoned whelp, memories relived from long ago in another world.

What have I become?
My sweetest friend

He opened his eyes, half expecting to see his brother, WhiteGold, standing over him, sneering. His stepfather, a look of pure horror on his face whenever he looked his way, his real father... the face of pure wickedness. All those he'd met in his travels found out who he was, and abandoned him. Why was it a surprise to him?

Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

With an empty, but resigned look on his face he lifted himself from the tree, head hanging. He loped forward, with no destination in mind. No, he wasn't going anywhere, but he was leaving. His body could stay here and rot in all its uselessness, even when it was alive.

You could have it all
My empire of dirt

Surprisingly soon, he reached a fairly deep gorge, a mighty river rapid pounding away at the bottom. He stood at the edge, staring at the water churning endlessly. This was it. This was where he could step off and leave this hell... to a better place, wherever it was. And no one was here to stop him. It was perfect. No one would know he was gone, but at least that would make the world better. He was tired of his mere prescence causing anger and pain.

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

He tapped the edge of the cliff with his paw. Rocks loosened and fell a long ways before a splash was barely heard above the roaring rapids. His tail swished in resignation, and he breathed in the Arnlanian air, possibly for the last time.
This was it. His Punishment, well deserved.

[Squeeji]

Pollux cursed her age as she rushed after Armageddon, she had this sneaking suspicion that he was going to do something stupid...why? Wasn't that what all hotblooded youth were prone to doing? She grumbled, pushing herself after his scent.

She could only imagine what he was going to do himself. Find an adder? Run into Sallin teeth bared? Maybe a long walk off a short cliff? The scout wouldn't be surprised, she had never been so cowardly herself, but had felt the tug of sweet abandon more than once in her lifetime.

It didn't take long after smelling the river that Pollux figured it out, and subsequently, found the tall dark male. She watched him a moment, all but a broken young thing, contemplating that one fall.

"Water is too high. Won't work." She said it with some certainty, she had thought about it, and of course, that might not have been the case, but the scout was just trying to catch him off guard. "You'll just get washed into Rakine..." Pollux paced up to the edge herself, a ways from Armageddon, looking down at the water, then over at him, giving him a steady serene look.

"And that Faline is a bitch of an old female, let me tell you that..." she hummed then then pushed a little gravel into the river herself. "I know...you're in a bad way, but you mind if I have a word with you...I mean...before you're ass deep in sea dogs?" the old scout was kindly in her tone, and rather matter of fact with Army, she didn't understand his issues, nor knew much about the youngster...but was willing to talk to him about it.

"Please?"

[Blackfeathr]

"Water is too high. Won't work." came a voice from nowhere, startling him. He jumped visibly, shoulder fur spiking in alarm. Regaining his balance, he turned his head slowly to face the old female he knew as Pollux, once upon a time... in a far away lifetime that was no longer a part of him now.

"You'll just get washed into Rakine..." The aged Arnlanian paced up to the edge of the cliff, and he looked at her with uncertainty.
He remembered Rakine... he had met Skye and a strange-smelling wolf there.
"And that Faline is a bitch of an old female, let me tell you that..."
He did not recall that name though. Alas, better to be half-dead and bitched out than to remain in this hell.

Pollux matched Armageddons previous motions, knocking a few rocks into the river. His ear swiveled as faint splashes could be heard over the roaring rapids, yet he still looked at her apprehensively.

"I know...you're in a bad way, but you mind if I have a word with you...I mean...before you're ass deep in sea dogs?"
This shut him down, and he looked down at the ever flowing rapids, glowering.
He remembered the first time he met Pollux... she eyed him with so much scrutiny and there was a tension between her and NightBlood... the talk of past mates... her judgement made him uncomfortable. She seemed to dislike him. Why was she here trying to stop him? Or was she simply going to affirm his thoughts and tell him that yes, he was not apt to mate with NightBlood because of his blood line... that would be characteristic of that cynical female, Armageddon thought, as he glared downwards.

"Please?"

His anger was cooled as he sat down heavily, fighting back tears.
"Why..." he whispered. He tried to say more, but his throat closed and he sat in silence, glaring at the river, his sweet release.

[Squeeji]

"Why not?" Pollux watched him, it seemed for a moment there was a bit of tension in his thoughts, some heat, some anger he directed towards the scout. She smiled, and cocked her head to the side, sitting down watching his emotions break down.

The sight of Armageddon tearing up made her frown, her brows knitting slightly. Fortunately, if he wasn't going to talk, she was plenty capable of talking herself..."I'm not gonna yell, or scream...but I want you to think about what you're doing. If not for yourself, or for Arnlan..." she scoffed, shaking her head "In this case, to hell with Arnlan...but at least think of Nightblood. Things...are going to get difficult for her, she's going to need your support."

She laid it out, right there, if he wanted to weedle and whine, he could, but she wouldn't hear of it. "Besides, just because you're going to have pups with another wolf...doesn't mean you're mates..." she shrugged, pushing another pawful of gravel into river, shaking her head.

"But then again...that isn't the root of the issue here, is it?"

[Blackfeathr]

"I'm not gonna yell, or scream...but I want you to think about what you're doing. If not for yourself, or for Arnlan..." the elder female scoffed.

Armageddon suddenly felt like he was being talked down to, like he was a pup. This seemed to shut him down even more... furrowing his brow, he turned away from Pollux. She didn't understand, he wasn't some young pup... well, in her eyes he might be. But he's gone through things in this life that no one wolf should ever go through, living a thousand lifetimes.

"In this case, to hell with Arnlan...but at least think of Nightblood. Things...are going to get difficult for her, she's going to need your support."

The fur on the back of his neck bristled and he turned back around to face Pollux with a frustrated expression.

"Why is it, that I always have to be the one to support someone when they've completely screwed me over?"
Of course Pollux didn't know of the times that he has tried endlessly to please his brother and father, but due to the fact that he was even born, their disdain for him would never fade.
He was tired of it. His whole lifetime of pleasing those who hated him for what he was to become, and he was sick and tired of it. Did NightBlood hate him? No, he couldn't say that... for sure. However, he was clueless as to what the Alphas knew about him. Did they somehow dig up his past lineage? How? They were mysterious in their ways. For all he knew, they could be close personal friends with his brother.
"Besides, just because you're going to have pups with another wolf...doesn't mean you're mates..."
At any rate, even though NightBlood could possibly have no part in this, he couldn't bear to see her potentially love another and bear his young, right in front of his face. There was no worse feeling in the world, than that.

"But then again...that isn't the root of the issue here, is it?"

He didn't know where the root started and where it ended, it was all one big knotted mossy swamp of a problem, and it choked his life until he was here, at the threshold of death, waiting for the sweet release... if Pollux hadn't come and distracted him.
He heaved a tired sigh.
"If you must know, and I'm sure you do already, I'm not exactly the most liked being walking around in wolf's skin." He took a ragged breath, reciting what has been told over and over again, "I was the product of a forcebreeding between a tyrant and a docile alphess, my mother. Everyone knew of the tyrant and his murderous ways and thus shunned or tried to kill me."
His thoughts ran full circle until they became irrational, but he was sure this was the case, as he drove on with his theory.
"I thought I could find saving grace by entering this pack, but they know... they know the monster I am to be... if they didn't, why did they choose this... Anek... why..."
His throat began to pain him, and close up, as these thoughts bubbled and roiled throughout him, making him convulse in uncontrollable sobs.
"Why...!"

[Squeeji]

"Why is it, that I always have to be the one to support someone when they've completely screwed me over?"

Pollux nodded, and for a moment, she looked very somber, her ears pulling back against her head, and her eyes looked down at her paws. "Because....Armageddon, sometimes...the ones we love, just don't understand how hard we try and sometimes, how much they mean to us. And so things just don't match up to fair...they end up hurting us. "the old scout sighed, thinking of...just about everything that had blown up on her in her long six years, and out of habit, she began pawing at her torn ear.

"Its the worst feeling in the world, I know..."

The scout's interest perked as Army talked, and her face contorted in confusion, but then what looked light a bit of relief. "Oh goodness, sweetie...what makes you think everyone hates you?" she took a tentative step forward, there was nothing more she wanted to do then rush over and comfort the poor thing, but he still seemed terribly jumpy...not to mention much bigger than she was. "No body hates you here, how could they? You've done nothing wrong. Hell, I have never even -heard- that story!" she said it like it was a good thing she hadn't...after all, if she hadn't heard it, it probably wasn't worth hearing.

"I mean...that story is horrible, and sad, tragic if true...but...I didn't see anywhere that you were in it." her expression softened, "You were the ending of the story, not the climax...its unfair to blame you for the sins of a wolf that's long and far away, hopefully, dead and gone."

"Whoever did, was the real monster in that story." she grumbled, "But Armageddon, no one here blames you, you're a handsome, smart and very capable young male who could become whatever you want if you apply yourself..." Pollux sighed, and shook her head.

"But...ach, you don't want to hear that do you? You don't believe that...so you tell me. "

[Blackfeathr]

Armageddon could not listen to those words, it was like he was being told why things die. The words made him numb inside and he turned away, pawing at the edge of the cliff. The swirling water so far beneath him, beckoning the sweet release of all this pain, swam in his vision.
He was tired of all this talk. In his life, most had shunned him, yes, but sometimes he'd get females who would try and make things seem better like Pollux here was doing. But they did not know what it was like living in his skin.

"Oh goodness, sweetie...what makes you think everyone hates you?"

Armageddons ears pricked. That wasn't something he'd heard before.

"No body hates you here, how could they? You've done nothing wrong. Hell, I have never even -heard- that story!"

Armageddon turned his head back to Pollux so fast it gave him vertigo. Was she shittin' him? Had she really not heard the story, spoken from Alpha to Omega, territory to territory?
"I mean...that story is horrible, and sad, tragic if true...but...I didn't see anywhere that you were in it."

If true, he scoffed to himself, a disgusted look marring the features of his already angular lurid face. The expression melted in an instant into a look of disbelief as he stared at Pollux.
"I am the beginning, middle, and end. My existence is the reason my life is a boiling section of hell on earth. What place do I have on this earth..." his contorted face washed away into melancholy depression. "I only cause pain and suffering, to myself, to others... even if no one here knows about it. It tears me up inside. And now... this..."

"You were the ending of the story, not the climax...its unfair to blame you for the sins of a wolf that's long and far away, hopefully, dead and gone."

A sharp pain started at his head and shot through his body like an electric current. A voice, unearthly, dangerous, a low rasp of hatred that bubbled up from the forgotten depths of his mind--
I am alive.
Armageddon gritted his teeth. He hated that voice, and yet it returned for him... so alien yet so... close. A part of him.
He shook his head to send the voice away.

"But Armageddon, no one here blames you, you're a handsome, smart and very capable young male who could become whatever you want if you apply yourself..."

"But...ach, you don't want to hear that do you? You don't believe that...so you tell me. "
She was absolutely right, he did not believe it, not for one second. He remembered being at the mercy of NightBlood the sentry, feeling absolutely worthless when he told her he had no exceptional skills. NightBlood... the reason why he was here... the reason why...
"I want to die."

[Squeeji]

Well he told her, and it wasn't surprising...but Pollux just sighed, shaking her head. "You want to die? Join the club and wait in line." She was beginning to lose her patience with the stubborn, selfish young male.

"I will stop you. So, if you're so persistent to kill yourself, you must kill me first...I want you to prove to me you're a monster before you deserve a final rest." The metallic aged female began to slink closer, her mismatched eyes boring into Armageddon. "I think Nightblood failed to inform you...no one leaves Arnlan. No matter how long you prey for death...believe me, I know; I've waited for it longer than you have been alive."

"You pity yourself because your lover has to take another mate? Yes, I am looking down at you for it because you don't even understand how much worse it actually could be." Pollux's face and voice matched, they were perfectly deadpan. "You want to throw yourself away because you look like your daddy? If you had a lick of sense...you'd rise up against your birth and prove you aren't a scab. As its the only way you'll get your vengeance against him."

The scout took another step forward. "I think you'll find that even death won't heal a guilty conscious, just like rolling over to an alpha won't make you agree with what they're doing." this sounded like a personal statement, as Pollux's voice snapped like a whip as she said it. "If its a matter of worth, I would try to encourage you to be my apprentice, Nightblood laments you don't have the build of a fighter...well that's because all she thinks of is worth by means of combat. I'm no fighter, but I'm worth just as much as she, and I know you have a good build for scouting."


"I mean...if you'll give me a chance....if you're not willing to give yourself a chance. Besides, I really don't want to kick your ass Army. I'm an old lady, it'll be embarrassing." Pollux was serious about the dark male having to go through her before he could earn his death, she would attack him before he got the chance to jump.

[Blackfeathr]

Slowly Armageddons thoughts shut down from Pollux's barrage of angered and impatient cutting remarks. He found that he could not hold an argument against her. Yeah he wanted to die partly because he didn't want to ever hear his fathers voice or see his face in fevered nightmares anymore... he didnt want to look like he did... this battered body, this twisted mind... he was trapped within it.

"If its a matter of worth, I would try to encourage you to be my apprentice, Nightblood laments you don't have the build of a fighter...well that's because all she thinks of is worth by means of combat. I'm no fighter, but I'm worth just as much as she, and I know you have a good build for scouting."

So... he believed he had it figured out. It might not be because of his parentage, then again, it was his parentage at the same time. She could not mate with him because of his skinny malnourished traits could... would most likely... pass on to the pups that will not exist now. She, the fighter, had to take another fighter, he guessed, this big brute of a wolf... Anek... to sire pups of hers. Armageddon was not good enough. Armageddon was inadequate, obsolete for NightBloods standards.

Oh joy, scouting... he thought sarchastically to himself.

"I mean...if you'll give me a chance....if you're not willing to give yourself a chance. Besides, I really don't want to kick your ass Army. I'm an old lady, it'll be embarrassing."

If he wasnt already shut down from Pollux's last statements, he was even more so now. The innate testosterone-laden childish whelp in nearly every male wolf was awoken in Armageddon as he scoffed at the obscure delusion that Pollux could kick his ass. He didn't think she had a chance in stopping him, he was already so close to his target, and he had nothing to lose but his life, which was really... nothing to him.

Slowly standing up, he narrowed his bright emerald eyes and locked them with Pollux's mismatched ones in an obvious challenge.

Like a pup seeing how far he could go out of the den before his parents cuffed him over the head, he took a meticulously planned step back, then two, then three. He felt the earth crumble slightly under his farthest placed back foot, and he cocked an eyebrow at the old female, a deviant smile slowly curling up his crooked maw. If she charged him, he'd be gone, and there'd be nothin' left but the cryin'.

[Squeeji]

The scout yawned as Army played the part of over inflated male, he wasn't tricking her any, instead, she turned away from him and began walking off...washing her paws of him so to say. She was a scout, after all her faithful years of being loyal to her pack, she wasn't even considered for the beta position...this was not her job to worry about some ill mannered pup.

If he jumped to his death, well she'd simply explain the story about Armageddon, the cowardly S.O.B. she wouldn't trouble herself if he wouldn't trouble himself. She scoffed aloud, thinking at least her mate committed suicide for some noble cause...not just because he had some whiny daddy issues.

After taking a few steps she stopped, sat down, back still to the youth and gestured with her paw as to say 'as you will'. She wasn't going to indulge him any longer...if it was a cry for help or a whinge for attention, such nonsense.

[Blackfeathr]

Armageddon was struck dumb by Pollux's sudden turn of her heel and leaving him there at the edge of the cliff.
In his state of desperation his thoughts remained irrational, his face contorted to anger, but the twisted smile stayed on his lips.

"Ha!" He barked derisively at Pollux's back, "such bold talk for one of such old age. You oughta have some sense, woman."
Yeah, he went there. If he was going to get bludgeoned to a pulp by Pollux, or NightBlood, the Alphen Twins, so be it. His mind could not process the consequences of his actions at the moment.
A growl boiled in his throat. "You never liked me. I know what snide comments you hid the last time we met, I could see it all over your face. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll see you in Hell."

It was then that karma gave him a good bitchslap. The soft and shifting rocks underneath his back feet gave, crumbling under him and sending him falling backwards. With a high pitched yelp, he slammed his front feet down, claws gouging the earth, hanging on for dear life, to no avail. He slowly slid down.
"NO!" he screamed, sending dirt and rocks flying with his frantically scrabbling paws.
His face barely hung over the surface, the last thing he saw of it was Pollux. Then, with a jerk of falling earth, solid rock.
"OH SHI--" he swore, his claws now trying to grip the cliffside, slipping as gravity bore down on him.
Suddenly, he stopped falling. He was on a small rock ledge, the bottom of the boulder supported by side-growing trees that waved threateningly when his weight pushed down on the rock.
Legs shuddering, he did not move from where he fell, afraid that if he even breathed, the rock would give.
"Damn damn damn damn..." He muttered to himself, looking down below. He was scared for his life. And then he realized that Pollux was right. It COULD have been a lot worse. It WAS a lot worse now. What would his father do if he suddenly looked over the edge of the cliff and saw him there?
He would probably laugh and start throwing boulders down to kill me... Armageddon thought. This was what his father wanted. His father wanted him to either join him or die. And NightBlood wanted to teach him endurance, once upon a time. Well, there was difficulties in life, that he now had to endure, and he'd come out of it alive, in one way or another.

But shit, Pollux wouldn't help him now, not after what he said... He wasnt going to waste his breath and ask for help from whom he bit the hand that feeds. He knew what he did. This was his true punishment, well deserved.

[Squeeji]

It hadn't been the insults that had turned Pollux attention, if she had gotten riled up every time some young little shit had thrown a bitch fit at her, well...she'd be in poor shape, but the sound of Armageddon's yelps of terror got the old female on her feet faster than a mother to a crying pup, she rushed over staying calm and monitoring the situation, there would be no good if both of them fell in. It looked pretty bad, Armageddon had really buggered this up good...her brows knit in concentration as she tried to gage how long he had.

"Kid, stay still...I'm gonna try to lift you up." She looked around, and tried to get a grasp at the young male's scruff, she frowned when she saw the size of him...too awkward... and there just wouldn't be enough leverage for her to get a good lift, she'd probably just break her teeth. "I'm gonna get something to help...don't worry, I won't let you fall."

Having been so hostile before, Pollux's mannerisms changed swiftly, she was soft voiced, but very stern...no doubt because she was a bit worried about this...but her sarcasm and humor was long left. The scout charged off frantically, looking for something that might serve to better reach Army.

She found a good sized stick for her trouble. Thick and fresh...good, because an old dry one would be treacherous. She snapped it up in an instant, running back to Armageddon with her new thing. Clenching the stick with her teeth, she held it down to Army speaking through her teeth "GAB AWN." Pollux brought herself low, ready to play tug of war for the youth's life. "GATTA CLIME TEEEWO."

She hoped he'd get it, she'd help pull if he'd try to climb up, it wasn't the neatest plan, but in a pinch it was the best she could come up with in so little time.

[Blackfeathr]

As Pollux's head peered over the edge at him, he shuddered in amazement and gratitude, consequently making the rock shift slightly under the sapling trees. He braced to fall, but did not. He was saved... for now.

"Kid, stay still...I'm gonna try to lift you up."
"I'm gonna get something to help...don't worry, I won't let you fall."

He could barely talk over a closed throat and the roaring rapids beneath him, so he nodded, eyes wide.

In an instant Pollux returned with a thick stick, lowering it down to Armageddon, speaking in muffled words. Though she spoke through a branch, he nodded in affirmation and carefully eased up on his back legs and clamped down on the wood, which was freshly broken. Good thinking.
The supporting trees groaned menacingly under the undistributed weight, and the rock shifted and fell about a foot.
In a panic, Armageddon squeezed the stick tighter with his jaws, his skull hurting with the pressure.
"OKHAY I GOCHT ICHT..." he tried to yell over the giant stick while keeping a death grip and bracing his paws against the vertical slope.

He hoped Pollux was as strong as she implied she was, or they both would be in a sad state of affair.

[Squeeji]

Pollux dug in her claws in and when the weight came she was ready for it, while not as bulky as most, she was wiry, and capable, but pulling up the young male was...hard, much harder than it would have been had she been a few years younger...but her age was no matter now, it was more important to pull Armageddon to safety.

"KEEE TYN TA CLIME" She encouraged as she pulled back with all of her force, she needed him to try to dig his way up, she threw her pack into it though, sliding every so often, only to catch herself and pull back with a bit more gusto.

[Blackfeathr]

"KEEE TYN TA CLIME," Armageddon heard but did not understand, perhaps clouded by adrenaline and his heart beating through his ears.
He had to dig to get up. He tried to get a good foothold of the cliff, his claws scratching at the surface. After several loose rockfalls, his paws finally found a sturdy foothold and his muscles tensed and bunched, trying to climb the vertical slope.
Without realizing it, he had been adding pressure to his back feet, trying to push himself up. With a final creaky groan of the saplings, the boulder beneath his feet fell away, smashing against the side of the cliff in its fast descent and with a booming splash, had settled to the bottom of the river.

Panic chilled his blood, and he gasped and screamed, tightening his jaws on the stick until he felt like his teeth were going to break. His mind was racing, his body intoxicated on adrenaline as he frantically scrambled upwards, his back legs now trying to find a good foothold, but rocks kept crumbling from the surface. Pollux was really tugging with all her might, he could see that he was ascending the cliff in stiff jerks. His front paws could reach the level surface of the cliff and he could feel the grass on top. Only a few more feet... he'd be safe. His front paws both grasped the flat surface of safe, grounded earth and he seemed to tighten all the muscles he had to bring the rest of him to solid ground.