Uncertainties and Apologies... [Kahvie, please]

[knekt]

Had it been that long? One couldn't quite place time when day and night blended so seamlessly into one another. That was how it had been, wandering aimlessly, searching for nothing, walking purposelessly, no idea of time or place. Had it all been so fruitless an endeavor? His mind wasn't clear enough to tell. He could only attempt to comprehend the reason why his feet carried him this way.

The mix lurched onward with languorous effort, head hung low parallel the chest. The odd bounce in his gait, due to an obvious lack of limb, made the apathetic spectacle all the more pathetic. If he could've looked back on himself in the moment he might just have shriveled into the leaves. Leaves... it had been so long since he'd seen the warming color of Synl's leaves. One thing he always adored about the place, its colors, its warmth, its...

Kahvie...

He stopped. His body shook lightly at the thought of her. He had betrayed her.. he had betrayed Synl. He had left them with no warning, and no good reason. A leg was nothing... he should have stayed, he shouldn't have broken down. Ebony claws dug into the earth as he tensed. He couldn't just return, they wouldn't let him back... they couldn't. He wouldn't have let his coward hide even touch the Synl borders. He had to at least apologize... he had to rectify his mistakes even if it meant throwing himself to their submission and his humiliation. He had to do it, for himself... and for her.

He gave a sudden, sharp, resonating bark into the canopied sky and began trotting further into the lands, impaired gaze cast before him.


What the hell was he thinking?...

[Addie]

Chocolate fur blending with the surrounding trees, a small dog weaved to and fro, leaves stuck to her fur where she had brushed up against a low branch or two. The forest had been particularly quiet this day, and patrolling the borders was showing nothing interesting for Synl's alpha. Yet, there she was, still trotting along, looking for any sign of something worth seeing or even just catching a glimpse of. At least, it might seem that way to any individuals who may have been watching the canine. A look inside her head would reveal something quite different, however.

Thoughts. Thoughts of the past. Not of the present, and not of the future. As Kahvie ran, her thoughts were purely those of the past, and of the days before Råknu had shattered under the weight of Nightshade. But most of all, she now thought of those who she had known in those days. So many had been lost after that night, if not from the teeth and claws of wolves, from their own decisions to turn tail and run to the villages, seeking the protection of humans instead of their own kin.

But then again, some had stayed. Friends, comrads had stayed and helped to found the little group of misfit mutts. Nisse himself, the wanderer he was, still stayed loyal to the new pack. But even with the protection of the forest, there had been attacks, attacks from Sallin, Nightshade's new kingdom. Traitors and spies, they had all brought on injuries over the months, and many of the dogs had been killed from such instances. There were still survivors, of course, but with Synl's lack of healers, sending the injured away to be taken care of by humans was the only option.

Kay was one of those injured, and badly at that. Fear of his death had caused Kahvie to push the scruffy wolfdog from her mind, along with the feelings she had had for him, mixed as those feelings were. Knekt had been the one to originally approach the female, and she had tried to ignore his motions and hints. The Beav had been jealous of course, and that had only slowed the relationship, but Kahvie's emotions had eventually went mutual with Kay's, despite her love for her borzoi friend. And it had been confusing. It still was, in fact. Kay was...

Kay was right in front of her.

Was he real? He just stood there, as did she. The alpha shook, not knowing what to do next. If he approached her...how would she react. She would listen, that much she knew. But then what? Emotions frozen, she simply waited.

Was this a dream?

[knekt]

Easier said than done...

'No where to run now... coward.'

But exactly how much was there to be said? As he stood there, still as his heart, face to face with the one he somehow wanted so badly to see... yet now wished that she was anywhere else but here. As the breath returned to his lungs, and the feeling in his legs began to recover his mind raced with thoughts.

'What do I say?
What do I do?
Will she believe me?
Does she hate me?
What do I say?
What do I say!?'

He subconsciously began to pace out of habit, back and forth, back and forth, head hung low, both lids sealed shut in concentration. The only words which came to him, the only thoughts.. I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry. But he wanted to say more... he needed to say more. She deserved at least that much. But what? What exactly was there to say? He had screwed up, he didn't deserve to say anything, he didn't deserve to be standing there... in front of her.

Finally ceasing from his nervous pacing he looked up at her, at the look on her face. All other conscience was overshadowed at the sight before him. Her, standing there, those beloved leaves falling almost orchestrated around her. It took his breath away. He didn't deserve this... she hadn't done anything ever to harm him, to anger him. She always aided him, comforted him...saved his damned life for Christ's sake and he had abandoned her. He didn't deserve her, she was so perfect...so caring...

"So beautiful..."

Shit.. what did he say? He hoped she hadn't noticed, the last thing he wanted to do was seem like an ass. Thinking he could win over her heart by throwing compliments. No... that wasn't what he wanted...

"Kahvie...I'm so sorry. I'm so...so very sorry."

[Addie]

The little mutt simply stood there as the ghost from the past mirrored her own reaction, freezing at the sight of her. And just as she was, he seemed uncertain, unsure of what to say. It was then that the realization set in...she was truly looking at her old friend. Or more...her old love interest.

Icy eyes rose to look at the dark branches above as Kay paced. Not to show disinterest, but rather to get her own mind working again. The dark sky always served as an outlet, a way to get her lost mind back on track. Words raced through Kahvie's mind, all seemingly trying to push through and escape into the wind. In response, the mutt opened her mouth in a silent howl, the only thing to break free from her throat being a cloud of freezing air.

"So beautiful..."

Then as quickly as those thoughts came, they departed. Nothing else attempted to break free from her mind. If anyone was to speak out now, it would be Kay. Even still, she kept her eyes focused on the dark world above, seemingly waiting for something to fall from the sky and break the silence. And it soon did, but certainly not from the sky.

"Kahvie...I'm so sorry. I'm so...so very sorry."

Eyes were lowered. The mutt had no doubt heard his new words, and allowed her reaction to confirm this. Slowly she began to approach him, head and ears held high to show she meant no malice. Stopping right in front of him, she let her brown nose touch his. A simple moment later she moved to his side, her ear brushing him as she kept close. It was then that she noticed his lack of hind leg. Yet, the alpha had expected this in some way, even if she had not remembered it. Lowering her head, she gingerly licked the bandage as one might a fresh wound, but she knew there was no healing the injury. Pulling back, she faced Kay once more.

"What do you need to feel sorry for?" And then, somewhat hesitantly, "I've missed you."

[knekt]

[ *will try to reply sometime tonight or tomorrow* ^-^ ]

[Addie]

((Hump XD))