Post by Duke on Mar 9, 2008 8:09:35 GMT -5
A Letter from Kahvie
(First off, yes, this is Kavs. I'm at Duke's house in rural NC as of the tail-end of Februrary 13th - just in time for Valentine's day - and I'm writing this from his account. I can't actually say when the last time I logged into my own account was, and I'm still kind of out of the loop, so I'm not exactly ready to do so and log in. I have absolutely no idea how to write what I want to say, so I'm simply going to type as I think and not really go back and edit stuff like I'd normally do while trying to make what I write sound coherent. Bear with ol' Kavs, puh-lease:B.)
It's time I told everyone why the hell I haven't been around like I should. I only really turned on my own computer in the last two months under maybe ten times, and only then to get in touch with Duke. After he visited me in Cali for two weeks and then had to leave, I went through some major depression from being away from him...I have a fear of getting close and then losing someone, so I've never been able to comfortably hug or have any other physical contact with anybody until Duke and I met for the first time this past December. Being in a physical relationship for the first time, plus being a person who gets attached very deeply when they actually open up and get close to someone, having him leave hurt more than we'd thought it would. I spent most of January and a bit of February oversleeping and crying out of depression and waiting for him to call (I'm pathetic, yes). I just didn't have any muse to draw or do much of anything else, and the last thing I wanted to do was to simply sit down at my desk. This got worse when, after planning to see him again at the end of January, Duke decided he wasn't ready for me to fly over at that time, or before Valentine's. I eventually began to feel a bit better when the second week of February rolled around, and about a week from V-day, Duke decided to go ahead and buy me a ticket to NC so I could stay with him for a few months. This would be my first time being so far away from my family, and I did get homesick the second night, but that went away the next day and I haven't had any problems being on the other side of the country since. Duke and I get along great, and love being around each other. In other words, I'm the happiest I've been since December, and even moreso than then.
What's with this hate mail, then? While I'm not exactly sure what Duke said, the hate mail in question were comments on videos I've posted on Youtube (something I do to show my family and friends), telling me things such as I "have no life" for uploading videos of my dog, plus a PM telling me how much my comic sucked and should be removed from the Internet to spare myself the embaressment. These were promptly deleted and not replied to, and have nothing to do with my lack of art postings, Internet activity, or muse (although I did and still do want to keep my art on the down-low and out of the "mainstream").
A few weeks ago while Duke was out doing work on the property, I pulled out some paper and drew a simple Kavs face, the first thing I've really drawn since November. I've been toiling around with it since and have been wanting to draw more the past few days, so that's obviously a good thing if I want to get back into KO stuff and art in general. But even so, I didn't really have any intention of doing anything other than maybe peeking in every now and then here, since Duke's place is too rural to have a high-speed cable reach the property (slow-ass dial-up only for us, in other words), plus I only like using the computer when his dad is out of the house, something that only happens maybe a night a week at the most. However, tonight while Duke was doing something for me on the computer, we visited the forum and Duke read some of the stuff that has been written by everyone here regarding me. He then proceeded to "awwww," whine like a kid and literally cling to me, telling me how much you guys seemed to want me back and begging me to get on and at least say "hi" to everyone. And while there's no way I could say no to him (I never really can, he's freakin' adorable), he made me realize how awesome you guys are for spending time keeping up something that I'd otherwise have left to die.
...I'm not exactly sure what the future holds for KO as a comic (hell, I don't know what it holds for me at the moment), but knowing that there are people who support it so strongly, I'm going to do my part to at least do something to keep it going. It might mean only doing the pages in rough sketch form, or it may even mean just writing it or simply writing short stories that include the plot and it's characters, but in any case, I'm going to do something with it and help keep the board running. It may go slow due to my current location and Internet availability, but I'll be doing my best. In the meantime, I'll be best reachable through kahvie (at) gmail.com, since dail-up seems to handle it fairly well above Proboards.
I love you guys! Thanks for all the support that's ever been given, which is so much more than I could ever give back.
- Marit (Kahvie)
Update: The past few days, Duke and I have been working on getting the Internet up and working in his room, and after a lot of work on Duke's part, we've finally got a connection. This means I can pretty much log on anytime I want instead of waiting for the main computer to become available (Duke's dad spends a lot of time on it, plus I'd felt like I was hogging it even when nobody had been using it). It's still dial-up and is slow as frick, so I probably won't be talking/replying in the cbox much, but I will be posting more than I have been now assuming the connection doesn't go out. Whoot:B.
