Tell Me... [John]

[Brink]

His shoulders slumped in exhaustion, much like Dana. John was worn down. And sore after he had been tackled and pinned to the ground by his mate. He would probably feel like this for a few days though. The Canaan Dog sighed and his head hung as he closed his eyes for a few seconds. Sleep was something he wanted so badly now. But he didn’t want to go into the cavern again. Didn’t want to have to look at his kids because he had admitted the fact that he kept trying to make their tiny, fragile lives better but continuously failed them. He didn’t want anything to remind him of that fact.

"Fine then... I hope you’re not sticking around here... Just 'cause of the pups... If you were, that would just be hurting everyone... John... If anything... I just want to know... You have your choices, and I really won't stop you... I just want to know, if you'll leave when the children grow... Or if you... really are still trying..."

There was a moment of hesitation before he replied. Because, no matter how much he loved his family, there was still always this longing to go back where he came from and see those he had left behind so long ago. But there was no way in hell he would voice what he wanted to the shepherd mix. Getting mauled seemed like a possibility if he did reveal it. Those kinds of those were forced out of his mind as he answered and hope Dana hadn't detected his hesitation.

“I couldn’ ever do that to you.” There was a hint of anger in him because she thought that he would, even though he had hesitated before speaking just a few seconds ago. “I couldn’ ever leave you.” Was this the truth? The truth that Dana so desperately wanted from him? Or was it a lie that he kept telling both her and himself, as if trying to convince himself that part of him was ready to return home and see her again.

[ooc; Dun lie about me lying]

[dakota]

Dana heard this, and remained still. After a long silent moment, she nodded and lifted, turning away. Pausing, she lifted a paw, and glanced over her shoulder.

"I hope so."

She called to John quietly, her eyes shimmered momentarily, her emotion unreadable, but off somehow. What was it? It was hard to place a finger on what had changed... It was gone now, as the shepard gave no more of a response. This she had a reason for... Dana didn't want to latch onto these words, didn't want to take them too seriously, have her hopes get to high, then be crushed by her own, or someone else's slip-up. She still loved him as well, but couldn't take anymore pain for the moment.

The female simply moved to their cavern, looking back to John once more, with a slow wave of her tail, that rested neatly behind her, holding about as much life as her voice and eyes did. So... what had happened here? Had anything been changed for the better? For the worse?

What about that voice... The one that had been leftover, when she tried to get rid of the indecisive screaming... It still lingered... Simply waiting for Dana to snap the next time, when everything went to rock bottom... Two parents, and an unbearable loss... This was the thing threatening her sanity when that time came...

[Stop lying, about me lying, about you lying... And my post is horrible... But so sleepy... Have big tests tomorrow...>.<]

[Brink]

[ooc; -poke- Yours isn't, but mine is. And, I stayed up till 2 last night, Rpin’ and stuff and got up at 6:30. I had a 100 point test. I bet I failed it.]

ic;

The silence seemed to drag itself out and it was starting to become unnerving to John. Finally, Dana spoke. Thank god. “I hope so.” Something seemed slightly different as Dana as she spoke though. He couldn’t exacty say what, but he knew. Something had changed. If he asked her, she would probably deny it. But he couldn’t blame her: That’s exactly what he would do.

“What the hell is that supposeta’ mean?” he muttered to himself angrily as she turned to head back to the cave. He wasn’t sure that Dana had heard him, and hoped that she had missed it. He didn’t need another fight, or another conversation about their feelings. He needed to sleep. Needed to rest and have some time to think about everything that had occurred and if anything he told her was really true. And he wanted to be alone. The Canaan Dog stood and the paused. He was deciding whether to turn around and go to the den or not.

In the end, he just shook his pelt to rid himself of any sand that it might have collected while he had been pinned down. After his task had been completed, he sat back down. Turquoise eyes were focused on the waters and sky before him. John seemed to be somewhere else. And his eyes told of this, as he stared out at nothing with an almost puzzled look placed on his handsome features.